My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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