I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize