I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize