I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
