During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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