Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My penis needs a shock collar
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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