Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize