Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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