Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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