mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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