we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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