you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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