Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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