At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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