I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize