Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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