if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize