i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize