Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize