There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize