K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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