Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize