We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize