My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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