she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize