so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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