Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you would pick up someone in the library
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize