so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize