You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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