i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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