I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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