There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize