PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize