You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize