Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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