That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize