first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize