I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize