I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A bitchslap is in order.
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