You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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