Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize