my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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