This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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