So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize