1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
two words...techno handjob
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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