you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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