Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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