i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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