so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize