im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize